Scene from Godfather II re-imagined

Back room after a fund raiser: Obama lies on a couch, exhausted, with his shirt open showing that his chest hair has turned white.  Sitting in a couch next to him is Joe Biden grinning.  A donor in an expensive suit is standing just in front of the president.

Obama:  My sixth sense tells me you brought a bag of money for my campaign. [long pause]

Donor:  I just want to wait.

Donor:  How do you feel?

Obama:  Terrible.  I’d give a million in campaign contributions just to get one piece of good economic news.

Donor:  Who gave the go ahead for the stimulus spending?  I know I didn’t.

[Obama gets up off the couch]

Obama:  There was this man who worked in England.  He was part of the British delegation at Versailles and when the great depression came he was the only one who had an answer for how governments should respond.  More than any other economist he changed economics from being a dismal science to something positive, something that we could use to justify our political schemes.  I knew he was a homosexual, and I knew he could make flippant remarks like “in the long run we’re all dead” so I’m not surprised that right wingers opposed him.  That man’s name was John Maynard Keynes.  A great man.  So that when a recession hit while I was president I didn’t ask whether conditions were different now than in the 30’s.  I didn’t ask whether debt was the problem not too much savings.  I did what I thought John [cough] Maynard [cough] Keynes would do.

Obama:  Now I’m going to play some golf.  When I get back if I see a big bag of money I’ll know I have a partner.  If I don’t see it, I’ll know I don’t.